Latkes! The World’s Most Perfect Food.

I know that during FJ’s history I’ve referred to many foods as “one of the world’s most perfect foods.” Latkes, though, are the world’s most perfect food, singular. I started writing this kind of as a joke, but with a second of thought I realize that I’m not really joking at all. Potatoes and onions, fried in oil until brown and crisp, served with applesauce and sour cream? How can it get better than that?

Here is a proof (because I love proofs):

1. Latkes > French Fries (bc latkes have greater surface area, allowing more oil exposure; they’re like the best crunchy fry tidbits at the bottom of the bag, but only those)

2. Latkes > Hashbrowns (bc latkes have more onion)

3. Latkes > all other potato preparations (bc French fries and hashbrowns are really the only competition)

4. The potato is the world’s most perfect ingredient (maybe the egg, but nobody is ever going to pick a fried egg over a latke)

5. Latkes are the world’s most perfect food.

QED.

Last week, Kevin gave you Melissa Clark’s Hanukkah recipe for a fried savory French toast. Last year, I gave you my mom’s recipe for tempura fritto misto. Both perfectly fit under the strictly regimented rules of Hanukkah, namely that you fry your food in oil. But how had we neglected to give you a latke recipe?! Or, really I guess since I’m the Jewish one, I am the one who should be experiencing some good old Jewish guilt about this oversight.

And so, with three nights left of Hanukkah, I’m going to right things! But you know what, here’s the biggest secret. Latkes can be eaten all year round! And they’re amazing. So I don’t know, really, why we don’t eat them year-round. They’re minorly daunting to think about, but in reality are incredibly little work.

Here are my (ie my mom’s) secrets to latkes:

1. To get the latkes as crispy as possible, the potatoes have to be as dry as you can get them. Potatoes have a lot of water in them, it turns out (and you’ll realize when you grate them). The best way to deal with them is to line a strainer with a couple layers of cheesecloth (really draping over the edges, you’ll need the extra). As you grate the potatoes, put them in the cheesecloth in the strainer, over the sink. When you’re done grating, gather up the cheesecloth and squeeze. You can let them continue draining in the sink or over a bowl in the fridge until you need them.

2. The only ingredients in your latkes should be: potatoes, onions, eggs, salt, and pepper (and oil). That means no matzoh meal or flour! If you want leaden bricks instead of shatteringly crunchy potato goodness, then be my guest and add flour. But I warned you.

3. Your oil should be very hot before you start frying. Here are my frying tips: Heat an inch or so of vegetable oil in a large skillet over medium-sized heat. After a couple minutes, take a little bit of latke “batter” and drop that into the oil. If the oil sizzles up around the bit you drop in, then the oil is ready for frying. If it’s still, then it needs to be heated longer. If it REALLY sizzles, then it needs to be cooler. This is something you will just pick up from practice. Be careful when you’re dropping in the bit, and also the subsequent food. The closer you are to the oil when you drop the food in, the less it will splash.

And now, a semblance of a recipe!

The Best, Crispiest Latkes

Makes about 24 latkes

Ingredients

- 10 Yukon gold potatoes

- 2 yellow onions, chopped

- 3 eggs

- salt and pepper

- vegetable oil

- serve with sour cream and applesauce

1. Grate potatoes with the largest holes on a cheese grater. You don’t need to peel Yukon gold potatoes! You’re welcome. Follow tip #1 above to squeeze moisture out of potatoes.

2. Mix grated, “dried” potatoes with onions and 3 eggs in a large mixing bowl. Add a good couple pinches of salt and a number of grinds of black pepper.

3. Heat oil in one or two large skillets. Follow tip #3 above on that. Drop in about a 1/2 cup of “latke” batter into the oil and flatten with a spatula. You should be able to fit three latkes in a pan without crowding. Cook for one to two minutes before checking the underside. If the latke is starting to hold together and the bottom looks golden, flip. Cook for another few minutes until both sides are golden.

4. Remove from pan and place on a paper-towel lined platter. Enjoy!